- Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
- Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough money?
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
- Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
- Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
- Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
- Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
- If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
- Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
- Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
- Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
- Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
- Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
- How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
- Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
- In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
- How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
- Why is abbreviation such a long word?
- Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Which one of these questions made you laugh hardest?
Do you have any additions for this list?
And ….
What were the odds of Lou Gehrig dying of Lou Gehrig’s disease?
By what cosmic accident do people always die in alphabetical order (check the obituaries)?
Why is there a “W” sound in One, when there isn’t any “W” in it … but there’s no “W” sound in Two, and it HAS a “W” in it?
Here’s another…
Why is Bob Cleveland the only one who comments on my blog anymore? 🙂
You’ll have to ask six or seven billion people to get that answer. If you want the inverse of that (why DOES HE comment), that one’s simple.
Come to think of it, the word short is longer than the word long.
And why do they call it a hot water heater? If the water’s hot, it doesn’t heat it.
I also saw a sign in a hardware store that said “Cast Iron Sinks”. Hey .. there’s a news flash.
And I don’t even want to think about what happens if you split “therapist” into two words.
John,
I’ve been out of commission for a while…but you guys are the funniest ever. This post and brief comment section would make great stand up comedy.
I wish I could take credit for coming up with these, Paul, but they’re actually from a web forum I participate in on an infrequent basis. I probably should have noted that in the original post, now that I think of it, lest anyone think I’m an aspiring comedian.
Of course, my wife and kids like to laugh at me, so maybe there’s still a chance… 🙂