Life Update…

Yeah, I know… I haven’t blogged in a while. And I know that some of you are curious what’s going on in my life, given the brief snippets you may have seen through Twitter.

Basically? Two words describe the circumstances: busy and trying.

Work has been busy, but it’s been among the least trying of my concerns. My schedule has been crazy recently, especially factoring in family and personal matters… I’m looking forward to a full day in the office, actually… it’s been almost a week now with everything else going on.

Family? Probably the most trying of concerns. My grandmother had a stroke last Wednesday, and is not doing well. So my family has struggled a bit with the thought that her life here on earth may end soon, after 92 full and fruitful years. While her health concerns have not come suddenly (she’s struggled for a while), the latest blow was much more severe, and did come as a bit of a shock. Prayers would be appreciated!

As for me? My ear problem has been diagnosed… cholesteatoma. Basically, it’s a tumor that has spread all throughout the middle ear and into the porous mastoid bone (directly behind ear). It’s not cancerous by any means, but it has left me with around 50% of my normal hearing, and will require surgery pretty soon (Monday, December 8th). The procedure will clean out the tumor completely, but will not restore hearing… that occurs at a follow-up surgery about 9-12 months later, when they’ll reconstruct the bones of the middle ear. Pretty involved stuff, but all outpatient (barring complications). It’s good to know what this is, and I’m actually looking forward to getting the surgery done.

So… that’s life… busy and trying, at least at face value.

It’s interesting, though… since Friday, I’ve had a deep sense of peace about everything. I can’t explain it except to say that it’s something that can only come from God. I know that He’s in control, and I can trust that… I know that whatever the outcome of all of this, it’s all working to His glory, according to His plans.

Scripture is the only thing that can describe it clearly (it takes a whole chapter’s worth, but trust me, it’s worth reading and contemplating!):

Romans 8 (NIV)
Life Through the Spirit
¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ²because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. ³For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, ⁴in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

⁵Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; ⁷the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

⁹You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. ¹⁰But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. ¹¹And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

¹²Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation — but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. ¹³For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, ¹⁴because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. ¹⁵For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs — heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Future Glory
¹⁸I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. ²⁰For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

²²We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? ²⁵But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.

More Than Conquerors
²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all — how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died — more than that, who was raised to life — is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written:

    “For your sake we face death all day long;
        we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

You see, no matter what happens in this life, God is not surprised. He never loses control of events, and moreso, never allows anything to happen that He does not use for the good of those who love Him, who have been called for His purposes… those that have placed their faith and trust in Jesus.

I have done just that, so I know that I have a relationship with a Holy and perfect God. I know He accepts me as an adopted son… not because of anything I’ve done, but because of the faith in Christ that He has enabled in my life. He sees me, not as the sinful imperfect person I am, but as a perfect, spotless, righteous person, whose sins have been covered and forgiven by the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. So I have hope… hope that whatever comes my way, He is working. Hope that in all things… His purposes are accomplished. Hope that simply cannot and will not die. Hope that, oddly enough, grows stronger in times of trial and difficulty.

So, yes… these times are a bit trying. But my prayer is not so much that God removes the trials, but that God enables me to be true to Him in the middle of it all.

I pray that, should you be struggling with anything similar… that you’ll find the same hope in Christ that I have, and the same peace and strength that only He can enable and provide.

God bless!

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For more readings on my battle with cholesteatoma, check out these posts:

Also… if you want to connect with me and others battling cholesteatoma? Check out this Facebook page for “Cholesteatoma Survivors”.